To be away from my family for years without getting to see them would be extremely difficult for me and them alike. But if i was going to defend my country, and i decided to go into the military, i would hope that the passion i had for that would be enough to curb the sorrow i would feel.
My family is big, and i have three younger sisters who aren't even grown up yet. If i actually DID do the military, it would be after highschool, right after, and the oldest of the youngest would be a senior, one would be a seventh grader, and another would be a fifth grader. Children already have enough worry in their lives, and making them worry about me all the time would hurt me the most. That would be the hardest part. Knowing that i was worrying my sisters--making them think everyday how they would cope if i ended up dead.
And then there would be my mother and father. They love me deeply, as do my sisters, but their love is much different. My parents already lost one child, and the guilt of me putting myself in danger would practically kill me everyday. Anytime i had to do something mildly dangerous, it would rip my heart out because i'd be thinking, "Oh my parents would never recover if something happened to me," and it's true. They wouldn't.
Being so far away without contact would also kill me. Having no face time with them would especially hurt. Would i forget what they sounded like? Pictures would show me what they looked like, but I'd miss seeing my sisters grow up. I wouldn't get back till two my sisters were graduated (one from middle school, one from highschool and/or college) and my youngest would be getting ready too. That would be an extremely painful experience. Getting back and seeing how fast my two youngest sisters childhood disappeared. Knowing i wasn't fully apart of it.
And then there's the secret factor. I don't like keeping secrets from my family. But being in the military would require that, which would be especially hard.
My only hope would be that the passion i had would be enough to curb sorrow. If i was dedicated whole-heartedly, i wouldn't let it get me down.
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